Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Playing Warcraft as a Couple: Doing it Right vs. Doing it Wrong.

Orvillius is a protection paladin who tanks for the wonderful Eff the Ineffable on Azuremyst. He enjoys long walks through monster infested dungeons, getting hit in the face by bosses, and DPS who don’t make his life any harder. After months of constantly harassing various bloggers on twitter and in their comments boxes he has finally cracked and started his own blog along with Nymphy.

Nymphy could do without the long walks in the monster infested dungeons as she is a squishy arcane mage also with Eff the Ineffable. Yes, “another Effing mage.” She’d much prefer spending her time whoring herself out to get as many useless achievement points as possible, although a sad amount of them are obtainable in said dungeons which makes her very thankful for the healers who have resurrection abilities as she is notorious for getting lost on the journey to her body. Although it really isn’t her fault, she has a love affair with the floor. Is also quite fond of pets, titles, and the kittens that disenchant to warm fuzzies.

Orv and I live 500 miles apart. We didn’t meet through WoW but we knew from the beginning that it was an interest we shared, and playing WoW together is often the most solid block of quality time we get. Naturally our mushy sides get away with each other when tempted by the emote system, prompting groans from our fellow raiders, along with suggestions to get a room. After all there are *plenty* of inns in Azeroth.
Playing WoW together can add a new dimension for those of us whose relationships are stuck in long distance mode. Being able to spend time together in raids and quests, or even just chatting over Vent gives couples so many things to do *together* while you can’t be together... and the $15.00 a month subscription fee is a lot cheaper than a phone bill with long distance charges on it! And let’s face it, just seeing our toons together on the screen eases some of the pain of not actually being together.

While WoW has the opportunity to bring couples together, it can also drive them apart. Who hasn’t seen the couple where one partner has to sacrifice so the other can raid with a more hardcore guild, where one partner isn’t willing to accommodate the other’s work schedule and quickly out-levels them? Playing apart instead of playing together can breed resentment of “that game” and turn it into a wedge between partners, instead of something that brings them together. On the other hand, playing the game together can “eat” the relationship, taking the place of other (romantic) activities and making them a couple that ONLY plays WoW, instead of a COUPLE that also plays WoW. Even worse is the possibility of family shattering drama that can grow when one partner (or both) finds a new special friend in the game who “gets them” better than their partner. The one who offers that sympathetic ear while you kill MORE Twilight Priests for rep in an effort to not fight, after all why fight when you can avoid it? This is a slippery slide that can lead to spending more free time playing the game apart from his or her partner and even fancying him/herself in love with their new “friend.”

Enough focusing on what can go “wrong” when a couple plays together, the important question is how to do it “right!” We suggest creating a toon together. Leveling a brand new toon from 1 to 85 can mean hours and days and months of time spent together in your own little world as you grind those quests together. Roll a tank and a healer, a dps and a tank, the combinations are endless. (Orv recommends not rolling two dps together, unless you REALLY love long queue times, but THAT is another post entirely.) So you created toons, great! Make sure that they don’t use the same gear type so you can eliminate the possibility of rolling against each other when that shiny loot starts dropping. Creates less chances for arguing when you don’t have to spend 15 minutes at each drop going, but that is a higher upgrade for me! Also, if you are luckier than Orv and I, play in the same room if that is possible. Plenty of opportunities for a kiss or two or three...ahem...between boss and trash pulls. This is also helpful if one of you aren’t as experienced as the other. When it comes time to raid it is important to be on the same page with your expectations, and to find a guild that will allow you and your partner to raid together if that is what you both want. Orv and I are in Eff the Ineffable on Azuremyst and while we don’t expect to go on every raid together, (after all, it is always someone’s turn to sit out) the Effers have been very good to us in that way.

Playing WoW together can have a major impact on a couple’s lives, whether done right or wrong. Orv and I like to think that we do it right. We raid together, are on the same page as far as what we both expect from the game, and yes, we created toons together. (Although we have not been setting time aside to play them as we love being part of the Effer’s progression raid group.) But we have certainly enjoyed the opportunities that WoW has given us to spend time together while not together. We also don’t spend the entirety of our time spent together playing WoW. While we have other interests in addition to the game, we are looking forward to the day that we can play in the same room. Per Effing Raiding Rule # 693: When one half of a raiding couple stands in the bad, it is the duty of the other half to deliver the corrective *crotch punch*. After all, I am sure that Gnoble is tired of using poor kittens for their fecal matter to deliver to Orv as that is the alternative correction to the more preferable crotch punch.

Next Up: “Quick! Someone DE the Tank!” : So What *Would* Your Toon Disenchant Into?


  1. Nice work, you two! Have fun with it:)

  2. Welcome to blogging! Best of luck :)

  3. Welcome to the WoW blogsphere. :)

  4. Welcome to blogging!

    There are definite benefits to playing together - I have an odd little poly relationship, and while my partner AJ and I live together (and she refuses to play), my lovely girlfriend Jaqui (who lives in a different state) plays. Though we've both been keeping vastly different hours of late, we've always enjoyed playing together, and I find it a lovely way to spend time with her, and it makes it very easy to focus on her, as opposed to just, say, chatting in AIM.

    You two are adorable to watch interact, btw. ;)

  5. Thank you everyone for the encouraging comments and welcomes! And Apple I'm glad you find us adorable instead of irritating!

  6. Welcome to the blogosphere, and I really wish I hadn't missed this post last week - couples playing together is a rare topic and I'd have loved to feature it!

    Anyway, good work, looking forward to reading more!

  7. Welcome to the blogging scene you two!!!