Monday, April 25, 2011

“Quick! Someone DE the Tank!”: So What *Would* Your Toon Disenchant Into?

Orvillius is a human paladin, tanking for Eff the Ineffable on Azuremyst. Recently he cut off his gorgeous Willie Nelson braids, and is worried that raid bosses just don’t find him threatening anymore.

Nymphy is a human mage also raiding for Eff the Ineffable on Azuremyst.  And while she could care less about how much the raid bosses find her threatening, she does often worry about how sexy their floors are. 

A few weekends ago the Effers decided to go on an afternoon stroll through the Sunwell Plateau. Calling in reinforcements after a wipe on overly aggressive trash pulls we started rolling through the place. When we reached the “gauntlet” ramp and picked up the pace, jokes started flying about how tough it would have been “at level” and during a laughably easy accidental double-pull I called out “Quick DI the tank so I can rez!”  Only I didn’t. I called out for someone to D/E the tank, quickly spawning a catchphrase for the evening (and a quirky title for Nymphy and I’s new blog).  Since then we’ve been asking Effers, friends, and anyone we can get to stand still long enough, what THEY would disenchant into, hoping to get a few humorous stories out of it.  So enjoy the lulz below!

Starting with the Effers we were able to corner, our answers include:

Kharyss: Imraith's lowbie priest in our guild would disenchant into [Noob Sauce]...I would imagine that this would go for all lowbies.

Takkarian: This rogue would disenchant into [Caustic Fluid] due to old rogues being bitter and poisonous.

Azzie: Furiel’s lowbie mage would disenchant into an [Abyss Crystal]. Apparently Furiel is less than fond of his mage as an [Abyss Crystal] is a huge waste in Cataclysm.

Gnazruk: Roderick stated that his warlock would disenchant into [The Number Elebenty-tRee]. Clearly the Greatest. Number. Ever. Following the number 42 naturally.

Lysan: Apple's paladin in our guild would d/e into several different items which include- [Dream Shard]s because once disenchanted, this would be all that remained of her end-game raiding dreams.  As an alternative proc,  the following mats would result as well:  [Shard of Good Intention]s, a bit of [Lesser Snark Essence], a lot of [Loyalty Dust], and about 1-2 [Primal Guilt].

Zelsha: Our very own holy priest would disenchant into a [Broken I-Win Button] and then further states that people can d/e her all they want but they are still barred access to the healer channel. Lesser mortals could not handle the dark and mysterious happenings that occur there.

Kaatycha: A tankadin, would disenchant into a [Black Hole] that would kill the person that thought that they could kill Kaat the Insane!

Gnoblemage: This fiery mage stated that he would d/e into a [Warlock] and a pile of [Awesome Dust] because mages are just warlocks, except more awesome ;)

Grimmtooth: Our crotchety dorf hunter would disenchant into [Ale] (what ELSE would a dwarf d/e into?) although according to Zelsha he would d/e into a [Flower] that would hover just out of reach, laughing.

Rhee: Our loving Wildhammer dwarf restoration shaman would d/e into a bundle of [Dense Embersilk Bandages], a pile of [Gryphon Feathers], and a [Large Hammer].

Of course, not all of our friends are in the Effers. We cornered some of our out-of-guild friends as well, so take a peek at these:

Skullicus: A human protection warrior from Coilfang said that he would d/e into [Awesomeness]. And who said that the ego is confined to paladins?

Mages in general would disenchant into: [Glass Cannon], [Pile of Squishy Cloth], [Water Cooler], [Non-lying Cake].

One pally, who wishes to remain anonymous, said that his toon would d/e into many [Little Chuck Norris]

Priests can disenchant into:  [Sparkling Healing Dust] + [A Cute Potted Flower] while a rare proc would net you a [Sparkling Gold Clover] that once picked would turn into the trinket [Four-Leaf Clover] that would act as a good luck charm that would proc a 30% heal whenever you are dealt a critical strike.

Another anonymous answer stated that his Undead DK would disenchant into an [Old Bone]. This would permanently transform anyone who touched it into a clone of said DK and they would in turn, mail the Bone to another random living person who would then transform into the clone, mail the Bone...yeah we get the idea. The only race that would be immune from this effect would be dwarves because let’s face it, we all love a little dwarf tossing.

Last but not least, your esteemed bloggers Orv and Nymphy:

Orv:  After taking suggestions from friends, family, and people who have had to put up with his raid leading Orv would d/e into  [Plate Armor] a [Giant Ego] with a splash of [Holy Light]. Everything a paladin needs to tank effectively.

Nymphy: As a noobish arcane mage, she would most likely disenchant with an [Arcane Blast] and after your eyes recovered from the blinding of said flash, all you would find left of her would be a [Puddle of Scrub Juice] and a scattering of [DPS Recount Numbers], naturally sitting in the middle of a huge [Spot of Bad] on the floor.

But wait!! We forgot something!! The most important part of this entire post!!


Kittehs: These would disenchant into a huge fluffy pile of [Warm Fuzzies] and a [Squeee!!].

So reader(s) what would you disenchant into?

1 comment:

  1. Hello hello! I read these to my boyfriend, who was vastly amused and said his main (a blood elf prot pally) would DE into hair products and a bucket of KFC. LOL!