Sunday, December 25, 2011

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Nymphy Plays World of Dresscraft

Nymphy is an Arcane Mage with Eff the Ineffable on Azuremyst. She’s very excited about transmogrification and all of the exciting outfits that it opens up for her wardrobe.. after months of farming she’s looking her best and her fellow Alliance citizens are starting to notice.

Don't you wish your arcane mage was hot like me
   It feels fantastic to get out of that big bird outfit! Not that I didn’t love the t12 set bonuses but really, all those feathers? I felt like I should be teaching small children their ABC’s and not doing what I do best, pew pew. Seriously. As of Patch 4.3 this Nymphy is NOT brought to you by the number 3 and the letter N.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

The Curious Case of the Art-Plagiarizing Douche-Canoe*

Nymphy is a fan art appreciator who also gives credit where it is due. Blizzard and Liala have done amazing work in bringing the game we play to life.

An awesome example of Liala's work. THIS IMAGE IS NOT MINE! Mages ftw btw :)

No doubt if you have been following the WoW gang on Twitter over the past few days, you have heard about the art scandal rocking the blogging world. It seems that a certain bit---right keep it PG--uh THIEF by the name of Pandora has snatched some other artist's work. Now they say that IMITATION is the highest form of flattery, but outright THIEVERY? We don’t think so. She has been airing a series of YouTube videos to showcase some art “of hers” that she is “giving away” to people. The video in question that had everyone up in arms featured some very lovely Druid artwork including Blizzard’s boomkin, Liala’s distinctive Stained Class Druid, as well as some art by Howard Lyon.  After being flamed in the comments, Pandora then proceeds to mark the video private. Never fear readers! We have the video still! Thanks to the amazing power of the internets and Rades we have the video for you to see, albeit with added commentary from Rades. :D

If you click on the other videos in the series of art thievering, she seems to have hastily added credit to Liala in the description.....NOT the video itself. Still not cool.

Basically, art thievery is WRONG.
Don’t steal artwork from fellow bloggers, they will rip you a new one.
It takes two seconds to give credit. DO EET!
Liala makes gorgeous Twitter icons. I has one! Go see for yourself!
Twitter avatar courtesy of DisciplinaryAction!! AGAIN! NOT MY IMAGE! I am just being allowed to use it :)

*Title is courtesy of Apple and WTSHeals of Twitter.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Mists of...Say What?!

Nymphy is an arcane mage with Eff the Ineffable who just heard about MoPs. I mean she has an enchanted broom, why not a MoP? She guesses that said MoP is going to revolutionize the way she...wait...*peers at spelling* Oh! MoP as in the new land that revealed itself when Deathwing decided to throw a tantrum and shatter Azeroth as she knew it.

Orvillius is a protection paladin who finds the sudden existence of a new continent that people totally never noticed before completely plausible. After all, have you seen the shipping lanes from Stormwind to Darnassus? (It’s an honest question, Orv would never be caught in Darnassus)

Blizzcon has come and gone and once again there were plenty of shattering revelations. This year’s news has brought about an even greater uproar than most years. So all the furor has Orv and Nymphy digging to see exactly what all the fuss is about.
Haha good one Blizzard... What? They're serious?

Saturday, October 1, 2011

We Need an Effin' Healer

Orvillius doesn’t understand why EtI needs another healer. All of the current content has been nerfed to the point where the bosses might as well be using wiffle bats. Surely Team Heals can just 2 Heal....what’s that? Anyone suggesting Team Heals start 2-Healing can go without ANY heals? Right then... Hail Team Heals!

Nymphy is a mage with Eff the Ineffable and is super excited at the prospect of frustrating---er challenging a brand new healer. Maybe this will mean that she will finally get to go visit her Spirit Healer after so long. The current Healer Tyranny refuses to allow such frivolities.

   Due to the indefeatable boss stuck on perma-hard mode called Real LIfe, the Effers have found themselves in need of an intrepid player to willingly join the ranks of the tyrants known as Team Heal. So you find yourself interested are you? Oh dear...this is your chance to run! Run away as fast as you can possibly go! Are you still here? Fine, here’s what you need to know before you join the Effin’ Healers.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

The Cutest Little Babies in the World (of Warcraft) - Part II

Nymphy is an arcane mage from the US-server Azuremyst. She is a well liked toon by other people across other servers and time zones. She was recently felled not by an ordinary raid boss, but instead was slain by a little 5-baby instance group with the buffs of Squee and Cute on their side.

   #Dwarfling, #Sproutling, #Sapling, #Knightling, and finally #Tankling. Those of you that follow us on Twitter are familiar with these hashtags denoting quite possibly the cutest babies born this year to the bloggers and players of WoW. A couple of them with their own blogs have caused us to squee and exclaim over posted pictures and new adventures. It wasn’t until recently that we all came to the conclusion that, well, they make up the perfect 5-man group. That idea took root here and I became determined that this should be blogged about. After all, it is only fitting to talk about babies born to bloggers in a blog post! So it is my very special pleasure as a fellow blogger, WoW player, and mom to bring back this special 5-man group.

   We first introduced the Epic Babies back in June when Tankling was just born. Now the babies have had a few months together to grind out some gear and they are ready for heroics! By learning how to crawl and scoot, they are newly mobile and ready for new adventures. Come with me and peek at the dungeons they have stomped...err crawled through. 

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Our Search Terms Have Made Us Into the Steamiest Blog on the Net

  Nymphy is an arcane mage for Eff the Ineffable. Recently she discovered that people mistake this blog for information on quite a few different things...Oh my...

  Orv is a protection paladin for Eff the Ineffable. When he isn’t busy trying to find a boss that will drop an epic tank helm (seriously...7 months of raiding...1 tank helm dropped. ONCE.) he’s wondering how some of you found your way over here.

  D/E the Tank is a WoW-centric blog that provides a humorous slant on Orv’s and Nymphy’s adventures in the World of Warcraft. At least that is what WE thought it was. Turns out it is a site for quite a DIFFERENT thing. We have turned out to be the steamiest blog on the net. What with all the floor loving and maybe relationships with certain NPC’s. With that in mind...maybe it doesn’t surprise us as much to see some of the emerging terms that people use to find us and this blog.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

My it's Quiet Around Here!

Orv and Nymphy are busy moving 500 miles. While they have their computers and intermittent internet access they may be too busy to make posts for the next two weeks. You've obviously come looking for awesome stuff and they can't bear to disappoint you so....

Even Yetimus can't make Galad feel small.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Orv is Gonna Get It! Or: Nymphy Comes Home to WAY too much Srsness.

Nymphy is an arcane mage who had to take a break from the internets for a week to deal with the Real Life Boss and comes back to find her funny and witty blog that she writes with Orv completely and utterly ruined by, not one, but two (two!) srs posts.

  See?! This is what happens when I leave. You, the reader, expect to find some humorous content to read in your spare time. Perhaps something to give you a chance to chuckle or smile in your busy day. Instead what did you find this week? Yeah, I hear you. Two srs posts by Orv. I apologize right now if he made you fall asleep. I mean, omgwtfbbq?, who wants to hear about pally talent trees? I lol’d at the names of their talents. All I could see is more of the same ego boosting abilities that I have to listen to Orv go on and on about every night. He tries to explain their importance to me but all I hear is that Peanuts teacher’s voice going blah blah blah I am so great blah blah blah. Orv! Get some real talents that read like mine! How about a little Torment(ing) the Weak or Incanter’s Absorption? Yeah, yeah, Blessing of Kings is great and all that, but you can find that buff a dime a dozen. How about feeling important when everyone is like “Ooh Nymphy! I want Focus Magic” and immediately starts parading their crit numbers in front of you? Yeah that’s right. We don’t need no prissy talents like Pursuit of Justice. You think Internet Dragons care about your pursuit of justice? Nope! Not a bit. They do care when they are on the receiving end of my Improved Arcane Missiles and Arcane Blasts.

  In all seriousness (in the midst of all the tanking is srs business posts) I hope that people got a lot out of the tanking posts. Orv is a super amazing tank (shh! don’t tell him! God I can feel his ego swell from over here!) and knows his stuff. He tanks for me both in game and out and saves my squishy self time after time, so I can vouch for his knowledge of things tankadin. And I fully support overthrowing Team Heals’ tyranny. But not officially, you understand. I mean they keep me alive in raids so if I were to out and out support this venture I would see my floor time increase dramatically followed by suspicious claims that I broke Line of Sight. While standing in the middle of an open field. So never fear readers, your laughs are incoming... as soon as I clean up the mess Orv left around here!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Protection Paladin Talent Guide: For Leveling via Dungeon Finder

Orvillius is a Protection Paladin with the mighty Eff the Ineffable on Azuremyst. With Nymphy away this week he’s abandoned all pretense of being half as funny or witty as she is and keeps putting up serious tanking posts.

NOTE: If you're here looking for patch 5.04 paladin talents, you want to go to the updated guide.

  The other day I was feeling a little bored before raiding time and decided to dust off my level 40 bear druid and spend some time on him. It had obviously been a long time since I’d touched him, because his talent points had been reset. When I went to spend those points I realized that I have no idea where to put them. A couple of helpful twitterfolk pointed me towards their own specs or helpful guides, but the experience got me wondering whether there are people out there who are as confused by the Prot Tree as I was by the Feral Tree. I hope this is helpful for any brave folk who have decided to level up as a Prot Pally, and find themselves unsure of exactly how useful all of these talents will be. The talents are listed in the order I think it is best to fill them out. Some of this is a matter of opinion and if you’re leveling with a healing buddy/dps buddies you may need to swap the order around a bit to better match up to your needs!

Monday, July 11, 2011

Eff the Healers, Let's Have a Tank Circle!

Being a tank for Eff the Ineffable, Orvillius is particularly sensitive to the tyranny of healers. What with their members only healing channel and their posh sense of entitlement, seeing this Circle of Healers reboot floating around was just too much! Using ancient Paladin secrets (replacing ‘heal’ with ‘tank’), Orv reforged the healer meme into a mighty tanking meme.

1. What is the name, class, and spec of your primary tank?
Orvillius, human protection paladin, 0/31/10

2. What is your primary group tanking environment? (i.e. raids, pvp, 5 mans)
I mostly tank EtI’s 10 man raids. I used to pug weekly 25 mans in WotLK, but with the raid lockout change that became impossible.

3. What is your favorite cooldown for your class and why?
That’s a tough one, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say the new Holy Shield. It’s on a super short cooldown, so I can pop it any time I feel like my healers might need a little breathing room.

Friday, July 8, 2011

The Cutest Little Babies in the World (of Warcraft).

 Nymphy is an arcane mage from the US-server Azuremyst. She is a well liked toon by other people across other servers and time zones. She was recently felled not by an ordinary raid boss, but instead was slain by a little 5-baby instance group with the buffs of Squee and Cute on their side.

 #Dwarfling, #Sproutling, #Sapling, #Knightling, and finally #Tankling. Those of you that follow us on Twitter are familiar with these hashtags denoting quite possibly the cutest babies born this year to the bloggers and players of WoW. A couple of them with their own blogs have caused us to squee and exclaim over posted pictures and new adventures. It wasn’t until recently that we all came to the conclusion that, well, they make up the perfect 5-man group. That idea took root here and I became determined that this should be blogged about. After all, it is only fitting to talk about babies born to bloggers in a blog post! So it is my very special pleasure as a fellow blogger, WoW player, and mom to introduce this special little 5-man.

Monday, July 4, 2011

How to Build a Good Reputation as a New Tank (In the Post RDF World)

Orvillius is a human tankadin who was started back in Vanilla, but never reached level cap until WotLK. Orvillius dinged level 80 the week the random dungeon finder was released, in a Forge of Souls random, and spent the next couple months figuring out how to get invited to tank a raid. Despite these "handicaps" Orv established a reputation as a competent tank on his small server, joined a solid raiding guild (if one that was a little late to the party) and did manage to down the LK before Cata dropped.

Nymphy is a human arcane mage of the species called DPS. Also not been leveled capped before Wrath, she has since started a career of being belittled about loving the floor which has sometimes been at the hands of tanks. She felt like she had to come here to prevent Orv’s preaching on how to be a good tank and that it needed a dps perspective. While tanking is srs bsns, this post needed to be prevented from taking that tone. Who wants to read a dry account of tanking anyway?

Rhii is a mage-blogger-turned-resto-shaman who tries to talk seriously about healing at least once a week but usually just tells stories about fail PuGs and all the tanks she has on ignore. She’s been a healer since mid-Wrath, starting out raiding as a holy paladin and changing to resto shaman in ICC. She is moonlighting here at D/E the Tank because Oh My, Kurenai! no longer pays the bills. Wut?!

Back in prehistoric times, like when tBC was current content, 5-man dungeons were a BIG DEAL. There was a rep grind just to unlock the heroics, there were CC requirements as strict as, or even stricter than, Cata heroics, and there were attunement quests required to get in the front door of many raids. With all the time a player spent pugging for dungeons it was, speaking as someone who never personally got to level cap in BC, easier to build a reputation as a good tank, a good healer, an excellent chain trapper, a mage who never let their sheep expire, etc. In WotLK attunement requirements were removed and the difficulty curve of even the heroic dungeons was flattened considerably. This was great for casual players who wanted a level-capped toon, but not so great if you were trying to build a reputation as a competent tank! I don't think I've ever been in a guild where we had enough back up healers, so I'm going to just assume here that healers ding level 80 and have guilds offer them cookies and other bribes to come join their healing stables.

While Orv was leveling from 60-79 there was no dungeon finder, and he had to sit in the LFG channel pimping himself out, or desperately seeking a healer, if he wanted to run a dungeon. This worked in his favor as, after a while, he knew a few good healers, a couple of really solid DPS, and even another tank or two he could turn to for advice as he leveled up and unlocked new content. While that is more than many tanks have when they hit level cap today, I can't remember more than one or two occasions where those connections got Orv into a raid, and both of those were well after Orv had already established a reputation as a competent raiding tank. The point of this rambling paragraph is that while Orv did not have the benefit of the random dungeon finder while leveling, he still reached level cap in the same situation that many newly level 80 tanks find themselves in today. His guild was not going to drag him through heroics and older raids to gear him up, his gear was ok for heroics but sub-par for the current tier of raid content, and if he wanted to get into a raid he was going to have to PuG himself out.

Saturday, June 25, 2011


I couldn't let go of her until the nurses
taunted her off of me.
At 6:05pm an adorable Tankling made her way into the world. She has really long fingers and quite a grip. I think this is an essential tanking trait. Hopefully it will assist in mouse turning so that she doesn't spend her life as a heathen keyboard turner like her father. She was 7lbs 8oz which is a good weight I think. I know Fanon's Dwarfling is adorable but I think my Tankling has a secret weapon. Little red curls. I am not showing them here because if I removed her little hat and revealed her curls it would actually be more cuteness than the blog could handle. It would literally explode.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Adventures in Leveling: Why Won’t the Questgivers Get Off Their Lazy.....?

Ilona is a smiting discipline priestess who thinks she will have to run headlong into any mob she sees in order to be able to DO something.  With the quests these days it is a wonder she doesn’t just stand around and twiddle her thumbs as Galad, a huntard with a tanking pet with a health buff, hardly needs any healing at all. She feels as it is beneath her to be forced to heal under sub standard conditions. She merely yearns to return to the Temple of the Moon and away from this brash hunter that the Azeroth Heroes Full Employment Opportunity Act has forced her to associate with. She cries over the fact that all her beautiful Penance heals are wasted and her bubbles pop under the weight of her disappointment.

Galad is a dorf huntard.  He has a splendid orange beard and wears a very dashing eyepatch.  Along with the far too tall night elf priestess Ilona, he explores Azeroth looking for adventure and trouble in equal measures. Though between his bear Mangeclaw and his panther Nix he mostly relaxes in the back and drinks while his pets take care of any mobs that might be about. 

Click to embiggen and enjoy Galad and Ilona's witty banter!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

The Affair Continues With More Players Involved : Effing Link Love

When not busy being a prot paladin, Orv occasionally goes retribution spec to spread the holy pain around to internet dragons.  Sometimes he even remembers to put Inquisition up while he’s doing it.

While Nymphy has no alternate spec, she sometimes thinks that maybe she should try one out. I mean fire or something would have to keep her busier and less distracted than arcane does...right?

We have lied. The post that we originally promised you fell through. We are sometimes fail like that. Instead we thought that our readers might need an update about Nymphy’s affair with the floor. It is all about the satisfaction of the readers. After all, who really wants to decode your raid leader.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

In Which We Kill Internet Dragons. For Purples. Day 4 ~ A picture of your night.

We were going to write more about Nymphy passionately throwing herself at the floor, but this week she was alive at the end of each boss kill. Including the two new kills; Ascendant Council and Council of the 4 Winds, bringing Eff the Ineffable to 9/12.  I yelled at the healers, making sure they understand that every week she stays alive we lose another reader, but they seem to think we need all the dps alive to kill progression bosses, those wilting lilies. Since that plan fell through we are forced to continue with our 30 Day Photo Challenge, stolen from your Facebook page (yes, yours!) and all WoW-ified for your reading pleasure.

Monday, May 9, 2011

A Screenshot Is Worth A Thousand Words: Day Two ~ A picture of the person you've been closest to the longest.

Rather than do a formal post about who we are and why we think that you should read yet another WoW-oriented blog, Orv and I have decided to take a month and introduce ourselves in a different way. Directly stolen from Faceyspace, we have decided to take a month to educate our readers about who we are through screenshots. This is part two of a thirty day series.

Orv and I have met and loved a lot of people throughout the course of our 85 levels. Some of them have stayed with us, and the others have gone their separate ways. So to pick the one person in both of our lives that we have been closest to the longest is, well, hard. But, we think that you will enjoy our choices.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

A Challenge In Which You Find Out More About Us!

It occurred to us that you, the readers,might be wondering exactly who we are. In the course of a month we shall endeavor to educate you through screenshots and explanations of said screenshots. All of you on Faceyspace will recognize it as the 30 Day Photo Challenge. Rather than hop on board the 20 Days of WoW Challenge bandwagon, we decided to take the 30 day challenge and WoW-ify it.

Monday, May 2, 2011

...And the Drama It Causes: Orv Reacts to Nymphy’s Continued Indiscretions With the Floor.

     Orv is a sturdy Prot Pally with the freshly 7/12 Eff the Ineffable. While he loves seeing bosses topple like dominoes, he is starting to worry that Nymphy loves the floor more than she loves him. Nymphy’s continuing string of brief yet passionate affairs with various floors are starting to distract Orv from the srs bzns of getting punched in the face by bosses.

     That Nymphy’s a wonderful girl. She’s sweet, smart, and she makes the most delicious cake I ever tasted, trust me, it sure is not a lie! Not to mention her portals, you’d never forget a trip through one of them, let me tell you.  She’s a clothy so she isn’t rolling against me for gear, and she appreciates my plate covered self between her and whatever horrible monster we’re killing... but I find myself a little worried. Ok maybe more than a little.

     Things were great at first. We ran through all kinds of dungeons together and had a blast. Even after we started raiding together everything was great.. it meant even more time together, but lately she seems distant. When I glance over at her during a raid, you know just to keep an eye on her HP bar, make sure she doesn’t need a Word of Glory whispered her way, I keep catching her staring at the floor.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Nymphy's Love Affair With the Floor...

     Nymphy is a squishy arcane mage with Eff the Ineffable. And she regretfully cannot keep it in her proverbial, uh, robes. Nothing seems to stop her shameless affair with the floor of the bosses she encounters. She fears that her relationship with the extremely understanding Orv is in trouble if her affairs continue.

     Nymphy had a problem. She had experienced this problem since back in the day when she was just a baby mage. Mages are predisposed to loving the floor just like all other cloth wearers. With Nymphy, the predisposition took a turn towards obsession. It became a running joke with close friends, provoking laughter every time her hit points dropped to zero and she dropped to the floor to await the healer’s rez. With her frequent dying, Nymphy noticed the Spirit Healer was incredibly attractive. Nymphy’s addiction reached the point  where she would die just to visit the Healer. She would become so distracted by that lovely lady that she would find herself lost on the way back to her body. Healers started telling Nymphy to please, just stay on the floor and wait for a rez.  Many deaths down the road, after much quality time with the floor waiting for the healer to resurrect her, Nymphy began to notice that the *floor* was extremely comforting and attractive itself! She hadn’t noticed before then, being too busy rushing to her rendezvous with the Spirit Healer, how very lovely the floor was.

Monday, April 25, 2011

“Quick! Someone DE the Tank!”: So What *Would* Your Toon Disenchant Into?

Orvillius is a human paladin, tanking for Eff the Ineffable on Azuremyst. Recently he cut off his gorgeous Willie Nelson braids, and is worried that raid bosses just don’t find him threatening anymore.

Nymphy is a human mage also raiding for Eff the Ineffable on Azuremyst.  And while she could care less about how much the raid bosses find her threatening, she does often worry about how sexy their floors are. 

A few weekends ago the Effers decided to go on an afternoon stroll through the Sunwell Plateau. Calling in reinforcements after a wipe on overly aggressive trash pulls we started rolling through the place. When we reached the “gauntlet” ramp and picked up the pace, jokes started flying about how tough it would have been “at level” and during a laughably easy accidental double-pull I called out “Quick DI the tank so I can rez!”  Only I didn’t. I called out for someone to D/E the tank, quickly spawning a catchphrase for the evening (and a quirky title for Nymphy and I’s new blog).  Since then we’ve been asking Effers, friends, and anyone we can get to stand still long enough, what THEY would disenchant into, hoping to get a few humorous stories out of it.  So enjoy the lulz below!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Playing Warcraft as a Couple: Doing it Right vs. Doing it Wrong.

Orvillius is a protection paladin who tanks for the wonderful Eff the Ineffable on Azuremyst. He enjoys long walks through monster infested dungeons, getting hit in the face by bosses, and DPS who don’t make his life any harder. After months of constantly harassing various bloggers on twitter and in their comments boxes he has finally cracked and started his own blog along with Nymphy.

Nymphy could do without the long walks in the monster infested dungeons as she is a squishy arcane mage also with Eff the Ineffable. Yes, “another Effing mage.” She’d much prefer spending her time whoring herself out to get as many useless achievement points as possible, although a sad amount of them are obtainable in said dungeons which makes her very thankful for the healers who have resurrection abilities as she is notorious for getting lost on the journey to her body. Although it really isn’t her fault, she has a love affair with the floor. Is also quite fond of pets, titles, and the kittens that disenchant to warm fuzzies.

Orv and I live 500 miles apart. We didn’t meet through WoW but we knew from the beginning that it was an interest we shared, and playing WoW together is often the most solid block of quality time we get. Naturally our mushy sides get away with each other when tempted by the emote system, prompting groans from our fellow raiders, along with suggestions to get a room. After all there are *plenty* of inns in Azeroth.
Playing WoW together can add a new dimension for those of us whose relationships are stuck in long distance mode. Being able to spend time together in raids and quests, or even just chatting over Vent gives couples so many things to do *together* while you can’t be together... and the $15.00 a month subscription fee is a lot cheaper than a phone bill with long distance charges on it! And let’s face it, just seeing our toons together on the screen eases some of the pain of not actually being together.