Saturday, October 1, 2011

We Need an Effin' Healer

Orvillius doesn’t understand why EtI needs another healer. All of the current content has been nerfed to the point where the bosses might as well be using wiffle bats. Surely Team Heals can just 2 Heal....what’s that? Anyone suggesting Team Heals start 2-Healing can go without ANY heals? Right then... Hail Team Heals!

Nymphy is a mage with Eff the Ineffable and is super excited at the prospect of frustrating---er challenging a brand new healer. Maybe this will mean that she will finally get to go visit her Spirit Healer after so long. The current Healer Tyranny refuses to allow such frivolities.

   Due to the indefeatable boss stuck on perma-hard mode called Real LIfe, the Effers have found themselves in need of an intrepid player to willingly join the ranks of the tyrants known as Team Heal. So you find yourself interested are you? Oh dear...this is your chance to run! Run away as fast as you can possibly go! Are you still here? Fine, here’s what you need to know before you join the Effin’ Healers.

   Eff the Ineffable currently raids Tuesday from 9:30-11:30pm EST and Fridays and Saturdays from 9:30pm-12:30am EST on Azuremyst (US).

   Our current progress is 6/7 regular T12. Although by the time you decide you want to join us we might very well be 7/7.

   What’s our guild like? Do we really have to answer this? Can we lie? :) Eff the Ineffable is comprised of people who either write blogs, like this one, or read them. We are headed up by our loving--*coughcough*--GM---*cough*dictator*cough* Alastriona. On a serious note we are adults who understand that life gets in the way and we raid when we can and we are serious when we do so. What little drama we do experience we work out in our forums

   Wait, you are STILL interested? Very well, Team Heal is ruled by the Iron Fist of Zelsha from Murloc Parliament. As a priest she wants no competition for her gear (aside from the two other priests who already have to fight to the death any time spirit cloth drops). Therefore if you are a priest, we are very sorry. Any other class of healer? Great! By all means, join us! But be prepared for *some* sit-outage. We do try to be fair when rostering our raids and base our sitouts based on a percentage system. But what about raid composition you may ask? Bahahaha! What is that? The ideal healer must be prepared to be able to heal on a normal night a raid consisting of anything but your expected “ideal” or “normal” raid composition.

Ilona says: How unlucky! A prime healing spot opens up while I'm stuck here in outlands! And that Zelsha is saying no more priests, she's just jealous at how awesome lol!smiters are!
   Oh and one other thing, you must be willing to heal! We need a person who genuinely doesn’t mind being a dedicated healer. We don’t want to feel like we are forcing anyone to heal for us. So! If you have managed not to run away by now and are interested, you can reach out to Zelsha or Alas, and be sure to bring a link to your Armory page, a recent WoL report, and be ready to discuss your recent healing experience.

   P.S. If you’re going to join Team Heal, you need to be willing to let Nymphy die*. Her whole internet persona revolves around floor tanking, but she’s going on more than three months now without dying horribly to something stupid!

*Note: Statements do not reflect the official position of Team Heals, and may in fact directly contradict the wishes of those cruel, heartless, cheatery priests.


  1. Your recruitment post was WAY more entertaining than mine!

  2. That's because Nymphy wrote it. If it had been me it would have been just as boring... I mean informative as yours!