This is not the post I expected to be writing in the middle of the night, and certainly not the post that I wanted to ever write at all. But somehow, the guilt and the feeling that I am somehow letting people down, or upsetting them has to be overcome for the sake of mental health. This is not a humorous post, so if you have come here to find something funny, I am sorry to disappoint. This is #RealTalk and something excruciatingly hard and difficult to discuss.
Hi, my name is Nymphy and I suffer from severe social anxiety, depression, and generalized anxiety disorder. No one, except maybe Orv and a few other people that I am miraculously close to, has experienced what is inside my head on a daily basis. It is an effort to be funny and personable and outgoing on various social media platforms on a day to day basis. It wasn't all caused by today, but today was the breaking point. I am not blaming anyone either, but due to the pressures of being happy all the time combined with real life drama, stresses, and all around wear and tear on my emotional stability and I thisclose to having a nervous breakdown. The stress is a killer and for the sake of my own health, and #Lockling's, I am stepping away from all social interactions for the forseeable future. So I am putting down Twitter, Facebook, and WoW, walking away, and taking a break. I may pop into WoW for only 2 hours for the next couple Sunday's to help BBB finish helping his Cub get his 25 man ICC meta-achievements done for the drake just because I have already made that commitment, otherwise I am going to be silent. This blog will still continue to be written, if only by Orv for awhile, he will also be assuming the mantle of GM for Eff the Ineffable until I return.
To all the lovely nice people on Twitter, thank you for being who you are. I know all the people I talk to may not be friendly with each other, but each and every one of you has been a shining point and a source of smiles to me everyday. To say that I feel immeasureable guilt for doing something that I shouldn't even think twice about is awful and just a mark of how unstable I am at this point. If I thought I could bear it by simply talking to a person, I know that I could pick any one of you and you would be glad to listen and I appreciate that more than you could ever know.
As an ending, this post was not made for attention. I am not bemoaning anything or saying woe is me. Anyone who really knows me, knows this to be true. I am not an attention seeker. This is simply so Orv does not have the burden of answering/explaining my absence to those of you who may ask. This is so I can regain a more stable grasp on my mental health and standing so I can return to being the cheerful, lovable person you know me to be.
*Hugs & <3*